How to Address, Assemble, and Mail Wedding Invitations:

Now that you have your beautiful wedding invitation – what is the proper way to address them? Here are traditional formal guidelines to help you put your address list together properly. Although theses are the traditional guidelines in addressing wedding invitations, they are just that - guidelines, so feel free to deviate from these if you prefer to make your invitations more personal or more casual.

Type of Guest
Outer Envelope
Inner Envelope
Unmarried female Miss (or Ms.) Susan Walters Miss (or Ms.) Walters (and Guest)
Divorced female, uses married name Mrs. Victoria Franklin Mrs. Franklin (and Guest)
Divorced female, uses maiden name Miss (or Ms.) Shannon Ford Miss (or Ms.) Ford (and Guest)
Unmarried male Mr. Thomas Lynx Mr. Lynx (and Guest)
Married Couples Mr. and Mrs. Paul Freedman Mr. and Mrs. Freedman
Married Couple - woman kept maiden name

Mrs. Lisa Morris

Mr. Greg Morgan

Mrs. Morris

Mr. Morgan

Unmarried couples who do not live together - send to the closest friend Miss (or Ms.) Michelle Wright

Miss (or Ms.) Wright

Mr. Lewis

Unmarried couples who live together - alphabetical by last name

Miss (or Ms.) Rose Abbott

Mr. Timothy Cochran

Miss (or Ms.) Abbott

Mr. Cochran

Same gender couples - alphabetical by last name

Mr. Bradley Davidson

Mr. David McDonald

Mr. Davidson

Mr. McDonald

Child under age 18 Nothing on outer envelope David, Alexis, and Sarah (first names only, oldest to youngest)
Children over 18 - should receive their own invitation, even if still at home

Miss Abigail Bishop or

Mr. Kyle Smith

Miss Bishop (and Guest) or

Mr. Smith (and Guest)

Judge The Honorable and Mrs. Al Root Judge and Mrs. Root
Clergy The Reverend Donald Pinker The Reverend Pinker
Doctor (medical) Doctor Benjamin Fry Doctor Fry (and Guest)
Doctor (PhD) Dr. Benjamin Fry Dr. Fry (and Guest)
Married Woman Doctor

Doctor Susan Goodman

Mr. Scott Goodman

Doctor Goodman

Mr. Goodman

Married Couple, Both Doctors Doctors Robert and Laurie Stephens The Doctors Stephens
Officer - Man (active or retired) Colonel and Mrs. Jeremy Scott Colonel and Mrs. Scott
Officer - Woman

Lieutenant Beth Adams, U.S. Navy

Mr. Christopher Adams

Lieutenant Adams

Mr. Adams

 

General Information / Addresses & Zip Codes

There is nothing more frustrating than having a beautifully addressed invitation be returned to sender with postage markings all over it because of an incorrect address. These are guidelines to help you put your address list together properly. Although these are the traditional formal guidelines in addressing wedding invitations, they are just that ~ guidelines. Feel free to add your own style.

Nicknames or abbreviations should be avoided when possible except for Mr., Mrs., Jr., etc.. You may use an initial if you do not know the full name, or if the person never uses his given name. Cities, states and numbered streets are written out in full (with the exception of D.C.). In regards to addresses, the only optional abbreviations are for Saint (St.) or Mount (Mt.), which can be written either way.

Making sure you have the correct address is paramount. There is nothing more frustrating than having a beautifully addressed invitation returned to sender with postage markings all over it because of an incorrect address or insufficient postage. To check zip codes go on the Internet to http://www.usps.com/zip4 .

Assembling your invitations

The best way to assemble your invitation is to set everything up on a cleared table, in an assembly line fashion - placing them in the order in which they go. No more than two people should be assembling the invitations at the same time (one on each side of the table), because it creates too much confusion. It also makes it easier if you place stamps on all of your response envelopes before you start assembling.

If your invitations are single fold and the wording is on the outside only, insertions are placed on top. If your invitations are multi-fold and/or the wording is inside the fold then insertions are placed inside the first fold.

The insertions go in the following order (from bottom to top):

  • tissue paper
  • reception card
  • map
  • response envelope
  • response card (tucked under the flap of the response envelope)

This is all placed inside the inner envelope, printed side facing the flap. The inner envelope is then placed inside the outer envelope, flap side facing the front of the outer envelope.

Make sure before you begin that every stack has the exact same count. For instance, if you are starting with a stack of 100 invitations, make sure you have a stack of 100 of everything else (tissue paper, reception card, maps, respond envelopes, and respond cards). Start assembling your invitations one at a time, but do not seal the outer envelope. When you are finished, make sure your counts are still even. If you have 4 invitations left, make sure you have 4 of everything else left. This is why you don't seal the envelopes - if your counts aren't the same, then you can check the invitations to see which one is either missing an insertion, or has an extra insertion, and still correct it. Once everything is correct, then you can seal your envelopes!

Here's another great tip - number your guest list, and then number the response cards somewhere inconspicuously (on the back or inside if they are folded) in pencil with numbers that correspond to your guest list. If you receive a response in the mail that is blank (believe it or not, people forget to write their name in all the time), you will know exactly who it is from by cross referencing the number to your guest list!


Response card

Along with the wedding invitation, the ensemble may also include a response card and envelope. The response card is traditionally used for gathering totals for the caterer and getting a general number of guests attending. The recipient is asked to mail back the response card roughly two weeks before the wedding or by the date indicated. The envelope is pre-addressed and pre-stamped by the wedding party for ease.

 

Other items

Other pieces often included in the ensemble are the reception card or folder, map or direction card, and accommodation information. The reception card simply lists the addresses and times of any post-wedding events, such as a cocktail hour, dinner or dance. Map or direction cards provide details about the location of the wedding and reception. The accommodation information gives helpful tips about airfare, transportation or hotel arrangements for out-of-town guests. Local attractions may be featured as well. Often the accommodation information is sent in advance with the save the dates.

 

Save The Date

A save the date is similar to an invitation and is mailed up to one year before the wedding date. Save the dates simply announce that the wedding date has been set and encourages recipients to plan for the event. It is not used as a substitute for the wedding invitation and typically mentions that an invitation will follow. The save the date can also allow you to let guests know what area of the country the wedding will be held.

In countries that issue them, the envelope may be Franked with love stamps. The United States postal service issues a love stamp each year specifically denominated to cover the double weight of the invitation and reply (a rate slightly less than the cost of two regular stamps). That’s it! Enjoy putting your list together and thinking of the close friends and family that will be a part of your special day. Congratulations & Best Wishes!